Help!!!!plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz?

am 18!!!!!i neva understood y this happens 2 me,,,its like...da things tht i always wanted in my life.....i neva got them......if i plan any damn thing ...ot has 2 b 180 opposite of wat i thought of........like my high school marks!!!!!.....my hair colour!!!!!!!......a relationship..........y sometimes life is so hard!!!!?????????